Wednesday, October 17, 2007: turning point
the past few weeks i havent been walking very closely with God. perhaps it was something that made me wonder about the possibility of God being unreal, being intangible, or perhaps it was something that made me question God's superiority, or even possibly that i took for granted God's grace given to me freely, even though i didnt ask for it, or could it be that i wanted to just test the boundaries, what it's like to feel tempted by the world? to feel part of the world. to have something to talk about with my friends when they ask "so what did you do in the weekend?" other than just going to church or attending ocf; being exciting, the way the world defines it.
i guess the past few weeks have left me pretty unhappy, unfufilled and lost. although i might have become more interesting in a way, what with asia cocktail and late nights, but i guess i lost the feeling of being comfortable with what i talk about. and today, by God's grace, i found it back again.
talking to a friend on msn made me see how much i had known God, and let me taste a bit of the goodness that i once had. i never lost God, i was just too blinded by things of the world to see how He was there all along. maybe this is yet again another journey of discovering God.
i came across this just now:
"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin. He who hates me hates my Father as well. If I had not done among them what no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. But now they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: 'They hated me without reason.'
"When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, He will testify about me. And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning."
John 15:18it
is pretty comforting to know that God knows what we will have to face as His people.
a shout of praise.
12:12 AM
